Linda and I met just over 50 years ago. We have a benefit over many people. We don’t have to think about what we say too often, because most of our lives have been together. Our arguments have been few, and mostly as teenagers or young marrieds. We’ve never needed marriage counseling, but there is a reason for that. The first involves love letters, but I am going to save that topic for a future blog. Today is about the results.
I Do.
When we are asked about how we have made it this long, our answers come in varying lengths. We are prone to respond that we say “I Do” every day. Those two words were an answer to several questions at the altar. But those words are not just for the altar. They are said in various ways daily, some verbal and even more in non-verbal forms. We have recited our vows aloud several times over the years. It is a healthy thing to do.
THAT Moment.
A part of my response that I seldom verbalize is that I am still in love with an 18-year-old girl. I can and do revisit the early days regularly. It is in a safe place in my memory, easy to bring back in vivid HD color. Since I really didn’t date in high school, my memory and imagination have a tendency to go back to THAT moment. Fortunately, Linda and I were just friends for a few months at first. But we both have relived the very moment we were sitting in the UNT Union Building by ourselves after usually being there with other college friends. It was when we first verbalized that we were more than just friends.
The Feeling.
There is one overwhelming feeling I recall in those early days – literally from hot chocolate in the UB and the several days that followed. It was the first time I had been familiar with the feeling of having a girl love me. It was filled with warmth and joy. It was also a moment of disbelief. How could a girl love ME and only me? How could that discovery be so real after years of wondering what it would be like? How could I return to that moment and savor the oncoming realization and then, pow, the undeniable announcement that my life had changed?
I Wonder.
What are the ways to bring back that moment most of us have had? I wonder if that is why people sometime argue. Even a little tension between Linda and me is the same as a big argument in our minds. When we aren’t in sync with each other or just out of sorts for circumstantial reasons beyond our control – almost always the case – we are unsettled until the air is cleared. Perhaps it is this latter scenario that dominates most people more than the early courtship dream-state you can related to.
My Offering.
One of the reasons I listen to music is to pause, think back and relive the best moments of my life. I offer you yet another Bruce Springsteen song today: Back in Your Arms. Sometimes the intensity is needed to set us afire – as a mechanism to return us to courtship even if it in the form of making up. I invite you to listen to this YouTube video and to read the lyrics as you listen.
Then find a way to say “I Do” today. And then say it tomorrow. And every day. To your spouse. To your parents. To your siblings. LFM.
Back In Your Arms
In my dream our love was lost, I lived by luck and fate
I carried you inside of me, prayed it wouldn’t be too late
Now I’m standin’ on this empty road where nothin’ moves but the wind
And honey I just wanna be back in your arms
Back in your arms again
Back in your arms
Back in your arms again
Once I was your treasure and I saw your face in every star
But these promises we make at night, oh that’s all they are
Unless we fill them with faith and love they’re empty as the howlin’ wind
And honey I just wanna be back in your arms
Back in your arms again
Back in your arms
Back in your arms again
Back in your arms
Back in your arms again
You came to me with love and kindness
But all my life I’ve been a prisoner of my own blindness
I met you with indifference and I don’t know why
Now I wake from my dream, I wake from my dream to this world
Where all is shadow and darkness and above me a dark sky unfurls
And all the love I’ve thrown away and lost I’m longin’ for again
Now darlin’ I just wanna be back in your arms
Back in your arms again
Back in your arms
Back in your arms again
Back in your arms
Back in your arms again
Back in your arms
Back in your arms again
Let's Talk About It, Lewis! 