A collaboration between Lewis McLain & AI
- What does love look like to you in everyday life? Not the grand gestures — the ordinary Tuesday version. The way the kitchen feels. The tone of voice. The small loyalties.
- How do you experience God? Formal faith? Quiet prayer? Wrestling? Doubt? Indifference? If faith matters deeply to one of you and not the other, that isn’t a minor detail.
- How do you want faith (or non-faith) to shape our home? Public church life? Private belief? Spiritual exploration? Moral framework? You’re not just marrying a person — you’re marrying their worldview.
- What did money mean in your childhood home? Security? Scarcity? Power? Stress? Most financial conflict is emotional archaeology.
- What does “financial peace” look like to you? No debt? Aggressive investing? Generosity? Margin? Romance fades quickly under chronic money anxiety.
- Who handles money better — and are we honest about that? Ego ruins budgets. Humility builds them.
- When life disappoints you, how do you react? Withdraw? Blame? Rebuild? Spiritualize it? Every couple must learn how to walk through disillusionment instead of turning on each other.
- What disillusioned you in past relationships? Expectations unspoken become expectations weaponized later.
- What would make you feel disillusioned with me? Hard question. Necessary question. Better discussed before resentment hardens.
- What does forgiveness mean when something truly hurts? Quick apology? Slow rebuild? Outside counsel? Love survives injury only if both understand repair.
- What role should extended family play in our life? Weekly dinners? Holidays only? Healthy distance? You don’t marry a person. You marry a family system.
- What boundaries do we need with our families? Kindness and clarity are not enemies. Boundaries protect love; they don’t diminish it.
- How do you handle loyalty conflicts between spouse and family? This one decides decades of peace or tension.
- What traditions from your family do you want to keep? And which ones should end with you? Every marriage edits history.
- What does success as a couple mean? Status? Stability? Impact? Quiet faithfulness? You need a shared definition or you’ll chase different scoreboards.
- How important is career ambition? Is work identity? Provision? Calling? Temporary necessity? Misaligned expectations here create silent friction.
- When one of us changes — and we will — how do we stay curious instead of critical? Growth is guaranteed. Alignment requires intention.
- What makes you feel respected? Respect is oxygen in long-term love.
- What do you need when you’re overwhelmed? Solutions? Silence? Prayer? Humor? Physical closeness? Guessing poorly creates unnecessary distance.
- How should we handle conflict? Never raise voices? Take breaks? Seek counsel? Pray together? You need a conflict philosophy before conflict arrives.
- What does physical intimacy mean emotionally to you? Bonding? Reassurance? Celebration? Obligation? Mismatch here quietly erodes connection.
- How do we protect our relationship from resentment? Date nights? Financial transparency? Shared spiritual rhythms? Honest check-ins? Protection requires planning.
- If God gives us children, how should faith and discipline shape that home? You are building a worldview laboratory, not just raising humans.
- What do you hope we’re laughing about 20 years from now? Joy is predictive. Shared humor is relational glue.
- If everything falls apart — finances, health, expectations — what anchors you? Faith? Character? Covenant? Community? This is the foundation question.
Disillusionment is not proof you chose wrong.
It’s the moment fantasy dissolves and reality asks, “Will you build something durable?”
Love that includes God isn’t magically easier — it’s deeper, because it requires humility and forgiveness.
Love that includes money conversations isn’t less romantic — it’s safer.
Love that acknowledges the whole family isn’t less passionate — it’s realistic.
Light the candle.
Eat the chocolate.
But also build the architecture.
The couples who last are not the ones who avoid hard questions.
They are the ones who ask them before the storm hits — and keep asking them long after February ends. 💫
Let's Talk About It, Lewis! 