Commonly Misused Words

A collaboration between Lewis McLain & AI

The 20 Most Misused Words in America (A Humorous Survival Essay)

How to avoid sounding like the linguistic cousin of the guy who thinks “irregardless” is fancy.

English is a wonderful language: flexible, expressive, and filled with words that people misuse with confident enthusiasm. It’s a place where we “literally die” of laughter, eagerly “anticipate” things we merely expect, and describe a big building as an “enormity” (which, technically, makes it sound like the Pentagon is up to something sinister).

So, to help keep the nation’s vocabulary from sliding into the ocean, here are 20 of the most commonly abused words, each explained with a grin and a gentle nudge toward correctness.

1. Anticipate

People use it to mean expect.

Real meaning: to act in advance of something.

If you anticipate a snowstorm, you aren’t just waiting for it — you’re already buying milk and bread like the world is ending.

2. Literally

People use it for dramatic flair: “I literally exploded.”

If you literally exploded, we’d be having this conversation via séance.

3. Ironic

Used to mean “unfortunate coincidence.”

Actual meaning: the opposite of what you expect.

Rain on your wedding day? Coincidence.

The sprinkler system turning on indoors during your vows? Now we’re talking.

4. Bemused

People think it means “mildly amused.”

Actual meaning: confused.

Being bemused at a joke means you didn’t get it — not that you smiled politely while dying inside.

5. Enormity

Often used to mean “enormousness.”

Actual meaning: great evil or moral horror.

So saying “the enormity of Disney World” makes it sound like Mickey has declared martial law.

6. Peruse

Common misuse: “I just perused this magazine quickly.”

Real meaning: to read carefully.

If you “peruse” the IKEA manual, you may actually build the dresser correctly. But who wants that?

7. Nonplussed

People think it means unbothered.

Actual: so confused you don’t know what to do.

Your dog staring at a lemon? Nonplussed.

8. Refute

Often used as “argue against.”

Real meaning: prove false with evidence.

If you merely shout louder at Thanksgiving, that’s not refuting — that’s family.

9. Discrete

Common misuse of discreet.

Actual: separate, distinct things, not “low-key.”

Two discrete cookies are still two cookies — and both fair game.

10. Convince

People say “I convinced him to do it.”

Actual: convince = belief; persuade = action.

You convince him that skydiving is safe; you persuade him to jump.

11. Anxious

Many use it as “excited.”

Actual meaning: worried or uneasy.

So saying “I’m anxious to see Grandma” could mean you’re expecting her to bring the fruitcake again.

12. Ultimate

Used as “the best.”

Actual meaning: final.

“The ultimate pancake” isn’t the best pancake — it’s the last pancake before the apocalypse.

13. Penultimate

Used to mean “the absolute best.”

Actual meaning: second to last.

Calling something the “penultimate concert of the tour” does not mean Beyoncé reached peak Beyoncé.

14. Irregardless

A double negative.

Real word? Yes, technically.

Should you use it? No — unless you enjoy people judging you silently.

15. Factoid

People think it means “fun fact.”

Actual meaning: a false or dubious fact repeated often.

So calling something a “fun factoid” is essentially labeling it “a cheerful lie.”

16. Acute

Used as “serious.”

Actual: sharp or sudden (short duration).

A problem that lasts two decades is not acute — it’s your homeowners’ association.

17. Historic / Historical

Misused interchangeably.

Historic = important.

Historical = anything from the past.

Your grandmother’s cookie tin? Historical.

Your grandmother’s cookie tin thrown at a burglar? Historic.

18. Fewer / Less

Confused constantly.

Fewer = things you count.

Less = mass.

“Less cookies” is wrong — unless you’re already depressed about it.

19. Continual / Continuous

Continual = repeated with breaks.

Continuous = no breaks.

If your neighbor’s dog barks all night, that’s continuous.

If it stops only to eat, that’s continual — and somehow worse.

20. Uninterested / Disinterested

Uninterested = bored.

Disinterested = impartial.

A judge must be disinterested.

A teenager listening to your life advice will be uninterested.

Closing: The Secret of Good English

The beauty of all this?

Even the sharpest word nerds misuse a term now and then. English is gloriously messy, gloriously inconsistent, and gloriously fun to poke at — like a house cat that knocks your books off the table for sport.

But if you dodge these twenty traps, you’ll speak with clarity, confidence, and maybe even a hint of smugness — used in its correct sense, of course.p