How Do You Know?

A collaboration between Lewis McLain & AI
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A dialogue between a granddaughter and her grandmother



Scene:
The kitchen is quiet now, the light outside turning golden. The teapot is empty, but the warmth between them lingers. The grandmother leans back, smiling softly at her granddaughter — the kind of smile that carries both memory and hope.


Granddaughter:
Grandma, you’ve told me what love feels like when it’s real. But how do you really know if it’s right before you say “I do”?

Grandmother:
That’s a wise question, sweetheart — wiser than most your age ask. Knowing isn’t about a single moment. It’s about the patterns you see when the emotions calm down.

Granddaughter:
What kind of patterns?

Grandmother (counting gently on her fingers):
Start with faith. If your heart is anchored in God, make sure his is, too. You can’t walk together if one’s following the light and the other’s still chasing shadows. Shared faith doesn’t guarantee an easy life, but it gives you the same foundation when the storms come.

Granddaughter:
So religion really does matter?

Grandmother:
It matters more than you think. It shapes how you forgive, how you raise children, how you see the world. Without that common ground, even small differences start to feel like miles.

Granddaughter:
Okay… what else?

Grandmother:
Money. Not how much he earns, but how he treats it. Does he plan, save, and give? Or does he spend like there’s no tomorrow? Marriage magnifies everything — especially money habits. You want to face life as partners, not as each other’s accountant.

Granddaughter:
That’s practical, Grandma.

Grandmother (grinning):
So is love, darling. It’s not all candlelight and violins. It’s budgets, calendars, and choosing to be kind when you’re both tired.

Granddaughter:
And I guess it matters how you treat each other in public too?

Grandmother:
Oh yes — never, never speak badly about each other to anyone. The minute you let criticism slip into someone else’s ears, you give them power over your marriage. Protect one another’s reputation like it’s your own.

Granddaughter:
What about family?

Grandmother:
You marry more than the person — you marry their whole world. Watch how he treats his parents and siblings, and how they treat him. Family is the soil that shaped him. And when you bring him home, see how he fits among your people. If there’s no respect both ways, there’ll be cracks later.

Granddaughter:
That’s a lot to think about.

Grandmother:
It should be. Also, watch how he treats strangers — the waitress, the cashier, the stray dog. The smallest gestures reveal the biggest truths.

Granddaughter:
What about when life gets stressful?

Grandmother:
That’s when the real person comes out. See how he reacts under pressure — with patience or temper, faith or fear. The right one won’t crumble at every hardship. He’ll steady you when you start to shake.

Granddaughter:
And kids?

Grandmother:
Talk about it early. Whether he wants them, how he imagines raising them, what he values in a home. You can’t build together if you’re dreaming in opposite directions. You will be married singles.

Granddaughter:
You always say habits tell the truth.

Grandmother:
They do. Look for balance. Someone who knows moderation — with food, drink, work, and even opinions. Extremes wear people out. Balance keeps peace alive.

Granddaughter:
What about his purpose — like, his job or calling?

Grandmother:
A man who feels called to something greater than himself carries a steadier joy. It doesn’t have to be glamorous. But it has to mean something. When life gets heavy, purpose keeps him from drifting. How does he handle disillusionment? It WILL come.

Granddaughter:
Can he talk about emotions? Like fear, grief, or joy?

Grandmother:
He needs to. If he can’t name what he feels, he’ll turn silence into walls. Find someone who can talk through pain, who can admit fear, who can celebrate joy without shame. That’s emotional honesty — and that’s love’s backbone.

Granddaughter:
What about his heroes?

Grandmother:
Ask who he admires. A man’s role models are the map to his values. If he looks up to people of integrity — who serve others quietly — that’s a good sign.

Granddaughter:
And self-awareness?

Grandmother:
Oh, that’s gold. Can he say, “I was wrong”? Can he admit when he’s hurt someone and try to make it right? Pride destroys more love stories than infidelity ever could.

Granddaughter (pausing):
Grandma, this is a lot to remember.

Grandmother (smiling warmly):
It is — because marriage isn’t luck. It’s wisdom, patience, and prayer. But I’ll tell you one last thing — maybe the most important of all.

Granddaughter:
What’s that?

Grandmother (leaning close):
If the boy — or the man — isn’t just as curious about you… your faith, your family, your hopes, your habits, your fears, your calling — if he doesn’t want to know your story and your soul — then make sure he knows without any doubt: you are not someone to be half-known. You are someone to be understood, cherished, and respected in full — or not at all.

Oh, one more thing: No regrets. Strive to make wise choices. The best thing you want to be able to say when you get to be my age is “No regrets!”


(The granddaughter nods slowly. The kettle whistles again, and her grandmother rises to refill it — calm, steady, radiant with the kind of wisdom only a lifetime of love can teach.)

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